Ahem. Well, it looks like humanity isn't going to be sustaining itself in space as soon as we would have liked, so we are going to have to make some room on the blue planet. Lets begin by cutting out some of the greedy little critters that are selfishly squandering our breathing air and drinking water. Starting this year, extinction is immanent for:
*** one bird in eight
*** 13% of the world's flowering plants
*** a quarter of all mammals.
US researchers estimate that by 2020, less than 5% of the Amazon will remain in pristine condition.
then over the next 50 years lets cut out all the fish.
this will give us plenty of elbow room to plan for the big event; the worlds sixth mass extinction.
so far, we have had these five (weak-baby-weiner) extinctions:
Cretaceous (About 65 million years ago)
Triassic (About 208 million years ago)
Permian (About 245 million years ago)
Devonian (About 360 million years ago)
Ordovician (About 438 million years ago)
but if we play our cards right, by 2080, the list can look like this:
Cretaceous (About 65 million years ago)
Triassic (About 208 million years ago)
Permian (About 245 million years ago)
Devonian (About 360 million years ago)
Ordovician (About 438 million years ago)
Jesus Returns
And since america is winning;
We get to be the first ones hand-lifted to space. er, heaven. er, heaven-space. which is like myspace but for americans who bribed jesus by inviting the apocolypse.
No comments:
Post a Comment