reposted via catsoldier.
a fucking mess
Yeah…
It’s like… fuckin humpty dumpty fell off the wall and ive just been jumpin around tryin to glue the pieces back together
and i just cant man
i just cant
i know
im gonna have to deal with this woman for the rest of my life
well. y'know
i get pissed off (laughs)
it is just such a - its just like what youre talkin about
everything is just a complete convoluted mess that you can't understand
all i know is that we went to counseling and it turned that into an M1 missile
it just kicked up so much stuff that-
y'know it just turned into a real mess
(laughs)
yeah just after counseling it just turned into a real mess
just.. wow
its just like
its almost like
dysfunctional communication patterns
that have just been amplified
that have just been locked in this cycle
and they -just-can-not
its just weird
(sighs)
yknow
in another respect ive been really unwilling to accept things
i have…
just been chompin on the bit
just unwilling to accept.
that doesnt help
the really sad thing is
its much better right now
both of us kind of.;..
better
its almost like a military concept
you know, like divide and conquer
(laughs)
when we met i was a mess
and she was a mess
and it just got messier and messier
it enabled us to make a real mess out of things
and we could afford to make a real mess out of things
and you drive that wedge in there
and it drives these two entities apart
and unfortunately things happen for the better or worse in our lives
and i just don't want to deny that
you see where im going with this
(laughs)
its just undeniable
things ARE better right now
they're just more painful
im never going to be able to father my children the same way
im just going to have to accept that
i dont know im really broken man
these past few days
Colin's birthday
i mean im really broken man
i lost my kids
its just. um
theres not a whole hell of a lot i can do about it
yeah its tough…
i go…
im buyin em gifts that i never get to see them open
denied on his birthday
im not invited ANYWHERE
its like im not even welcome in what was once my own house
theres just nothin
so
no
no you can't do that shit
because the problem is danny
that i have to get away from that..
ive got those forces working against me
and ive got my kids and my emotions
and it just amplifies the emotions
its just a fuckin mess
the whole thing is just a huge huge fucking mess
and
you know…
its just..
(sighs)
you just have to accept it.
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