pretend midnight. the time when i chose to become the person i am not was the best time i ever had. i closed my eyes and the words came out. the sensation was real and my spine shivered. she never said so but i knew. i had never felt so much and said so little.
20070226
20070120
20070118
20070114
20070113
My Love
I could see us holdin hands, walkin on the beach our toes in the sand.
"He said he hadn't seen the recent movie, "Snakes on a Plane," starring Samuel L. Jackson."
20070108
Hot and then Cold
Here are the CNN Story Highlights:
• Photo taken in 1800s in Sheboygan, Wisconsin
• Newspaper included it in 2007 calendar
• Internet fueling publicity, inquiries, theories about photo
• Sheboygan law at the time: Riders must stay with dead horse
20070105
Wham, bam, thank you George Michael.
unnamed businessman is reported to have paid the record sum for George Michael to entertain his 300 guests on his private estate 20 miles outside Moscow.
$3 millionn.
20070104
Cone Shuttle, The Final Frontier
"The billionaire founder of Amazon.com has released the first images of the launch of a private spacecraft that could bring space travel to the masses."
As early as 2010? of course Mr. Bezos.
The lucrative industry of stealing and smuggling vast amounts of crude oil.
"The world's eighth biggest exporter of crude has been losing more than 500,000 barrels of oil per day since February last year when militants demanding greater local control of oil wealth staged a series of raids on the industry."
Rehnquist Unveiled
Here are the highlights of the CNN story that brought us the most hilarious picture on earth:
• William Rehnquist underwent withdrawal from a prescribed painkiller, FBI files say
• Symptoms included hallucinations, paranoid ideas
• The Supreme Court justice took Placidyl for a decade
• The files also suggest the FBI was used to block political opposition to Rehnquist
20070103
20061231
20061230
Team Planet Earth
Ahem. Well, it looks like humanity isn't going to be sustaining itself in space as soon as we would have liked, so we are going to have to make some room on the blue planet. Lets begin by cutting out some of the greedy little critters that are selfishly squandering our breathing air and drinking water. Starting this year, extinction is immanent for:
*** one bird in eight
*** 13% of the world's flowering plants
*** a quarter of all mammals.
US researchers estimate that by 2020, less than 5% of the Amazon will remain in pristine condition.
then over the next 50 years lets cut out all the fish.
this will give us plenty of elbow room to plan for the big event; the worlds sixth mass extinction.
so far, we have had these five (weak-baby-weiner) extinctions:
Cretaceous (About 65 million years ago)
Triassic (About 208 million years ago)
Permian (About 245 million years ago)
Devonian (About 360 million years ago)
Ordovician (About 438 million years ago)
but if we play our cards right, by 2080, the list can look like this:
Cretaceous (About 65 million years ago)
Triassic (About 208 million years ago)
Permian (About 245 million years ago)
Devonian (About 360 million years ago)
Ordovician (About 438 million years ago)
Jesus Returns
And since america is winning;
We get to be the first ones hand-lifted to space. er, heaven. er, heaven-space. which is like myspace but for americans who bribed jesus by inviting the apocolypse.
20061229
Hyper Mike
"It was found on him and in his car,"
"He has been charged with DUI (driving under the influence of) drugs and possession of a controlled substance, cocaine," Sgt Larry Hall of the Buckeye Police Department told Reuters news agency.
20061225
Goodnight, Godfather
May flights of devils wing you to your rest. You will live on in our souls forever, but right now im still trippin about that Squid.
20061222
Vingt mille lieues sous les mers
For the first time ever scientists were able to capture a giant squid alive, as well as film the whole ordeal. This is especially good because the squid died almost immediately after it was captured.
"It took two people to pull it in,” Dr Kubodera said, “and they lost it once, which might have caused the injuries that killed it . . . “It struggled furiously to escape by spouting water from its funnel. This means they can actually swim pretty fast, in addition to their normal movement just drifting in deep waters,”When snack time goes bad.
Some say it died of massive stress, i might tend to agree judging from the look on its face. However, once i realized that squids eyes always look like that, ive decided that it most likely died of a broken heart. However, I especially don't give a fuck really because giant squids are literally so 4 years ago. My main over sized cuttlefish preoccupations have been directed towards the much more impressive sounding colossal squid species as of late. That having been said, i am always interested in mans struggle to subdue gargantuan beasts, as well as elusiveness and all things which fall under its black curtain. However, this is almost as bad as the time i found out Santa wasn't real, or even worse, the time i found out Arnold Schwarzenegger WAS real.
20061221
20061220
Clever Girl
Moths drink tears of sleeping birds?!
"The moth uses its barbed proboscis (close-up below) to penetrate the eyelid of sleeping birds and drink tears (Image: Roland Hilgartner / Mamisolo Raoilison)"
20061219
Ancient Map of Emeryville
Archaelogists say it may date back as early as 1983.
-Notice John Tucker in the swimsuit by the dolphins.
Puffy NO!
"The Humane Society of the United States said a $237.99 Sean John Hooded Snorkel Jacket for sale on Macy's Web site was described as having an "imitation rabbit fur collar."
It was FLUFFY RACCOON DOGS!!
http://today.reuters.com/news/articlenews.aspx?type=oddlyEnoughNews&storyID=2006-12-17T150011Z_01_N17431573_RTRUKOC_0_US-MACYS-FUR.xml&WTmodLoc=OddNewsHome_C2_oddlyEnoughNews-5
Eat Cod and Prosper
The BBC published this simple, straight-forward graph that represents sushi prices over the next 50 years.
Tall Order
Beijing, China - At an aquarium in Liaoning province an unfortunate dolphin somehow ingested several bits of toxic plastic that could potentially ruin the poor creatures afternoon. After hours of deductive reasoning and critical thinking, the resident Scientists concluded that no modern piece of medical equipment existed that was long enough to reach the mammals stomach. What could be done? Only one thing. Veterinarians hastily sought out and enlisted Bao Xishun, a 7-foot-9 herdsman from Inner Mongolia with 41.7-inch arms. Also the worlds tallest living man. He successfully removed the plastic with a dexterious reach and then stated:
"People with shorter arms could not reach the plastic."
Humanity Advances
"Brendan Brockbank, 18, won The World Pie Eating Championships at Harry's Bar in Wigan, England, on Wednesday."
-http://www.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/europe/12/13/pie.eating.contest.ap/index.html
No Details Necessary.
Pub Mar
Outdoor International Food Sampling Expo Today! At the Emeryville Public Market. Bring an extra tapioca straw and feast on the delicacies from strange and exotic lands such as:
Thailand
Croatia
and Zimbabwe
My heart has joined the thousand.
This country's beloved friend and father figure Joseph Barbera has stopped running today, leaving us an animated legacy after a heroic 95 years of life. His gifts to this planet will not soon be forgotten, except for the Scooby Doo movie.
Fun Surprise!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/6192373.stm
Japanese woman tries on new pair of jeans. Sharp stinging pain in knee. Touches knee. Sharp stinging pain in index finger. Removes jeans. Discovers Chinese Bark Scorpian.
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