lethologica

2009-05-01T11:30:00.000-07:00

Warren - Lead Guitar

Desmond - Bass Guitar

Frederick - Drums and Percussion

Makhor - Saxophone

Montel - Keyboards and Rainsticks

Found art: the poetry of overheard conversation.

2009-02-22T23:30:00.000-08:00

reposted via catsoldier.

a fucking mess

Yeah…
It’s like… fuckin humpty dumpty fell off the wall and ive just been jumpin around tryin to glue the pieces back together
and i just cant man
i just cant
i know
im gonna have to deal with this woman for the rest of my life
well. y'know
i get pissed off (laughs)
it is just such a - its just like what youre talkin about
everything is just a complete convoluted mess that you can't understand
all i know is that we went to counseling and it turned that into an M1 missile
it just kicked up so much stuff that-
y'know it just turned into a real mess
(laughs)
yeah just after counseling it just turned into a real mess
just.. wow
its just like
its almost like
dysfunctional communication patterns
that have just been amplified
that have just been locked in this cycle
and they -just-can-not
its just weird
(sighs)
yknow
in another respect ive been really unwilling to accept things
i have…
just been chompin on the bit
just unwilling to accept.
that doesnt help
the really sad thing is
its much better right now
both of us kind of.;..
better
its almost like a military concept
you know, like divide and conquer
(laughs)
when we met i was a mess
and she was a mess
and it just got messier and messier
it enabled us to make a real mess out of things
and we could afford to make a real mess out of things
and you drive that wedge in there
and it drives these two entities apart
and unfortunately things happen for the better or worse in our lives
and i just don't want to deny that
you see where im going with this
(laughs)
its just undeniable
things ARE better right now
they're just more painful
im never going to be able to father my children the same way
im just going to have to accept that
i dont know im really broken man
these past few days
Colin's birthday
i mean im really broken man
i lost my kids
its just. um
theres not a whole hell of a lot i can do about it
yeah its tough…
i go…
im buyin em gifts that i never get to see them open
denied on his birthday
im not invited ANYWHERE
its like im not even welcome in what was once my own house
theres just nothin
so
no
no you can't do that shit
because the problem is danny
that i have to get away from that..
ive got those forces working against me
and ive got my kids and my emotions
and it just amplifies the emotions
its just a fuckin mess
the whole thing is just a huge huge fucking mess
and
you know…
its just..
(sighs)
you just have to accept it.

original post

2008-12-28T09:30:00.000-08:00

its fun to do bad things.

2008-05-28T05:51:00.000-07:00

This just in off the wires of the associated press. Children exposed to lead are more likley to be bad boys later in life. This explains both bad boys one and 2, as well as camerin and james. And that kid who stole his grandmamas car and took it for a joyride, and later beat up his grandma at a mcdonalds.

article sez:

"Between 1979 and 1984, Dr. Kim Dietrich a professor of environmental health at University of Cincinnati and colleagues recruited pregnant women in poor areas of Cincinnati, known for high concentration of older lead-contaminated housing. About 250 out of the 376 newborns recruited into the study were included in the final analysis.

The researchers measured blood lead levels during pregnancy and then regularly until the children were six and a half years old, as an indication of their lead exposure. The level of lead exposure was then correlated with local criminal justice records on how many times each of the recruits had been arrested between becoming 18 years old and the end of October 2005.

The study found that 55 percent of the subjects (63 percent of males) had been arrested at least once and that the average was five arrests between the ages of 18 and 24. In fact, the higher the blood lead level at any time in childhood, the greater the likelihood of arrests was. "

this also explains this:

Ralph Hardy, a 13 year old from Newark, Texas confessed to ordering an extra
credit card from his father's existing credit card company, and took his friends
on a $30,000 spending spree, culminating in playing "Halo" on an Xbox with a
couple of hookers in a Texas motel.

The credit card company involved
said it was regular practice to send extra credit cards out as long as all
security questions are answered.

The escort girls who were released
without charge, told the arresting officers something was up when the kids said
they would rather play Xbox than get down to business.

Police said they
were alerted to the motel by a concerned delivery clerk, whom after delivering
supplies of Dr Pepper, Fritos and Oreos had been asked by the kids where they
could score some chicks and were willing to pay. They explained they had just
made a big score at a "World of Warcraft" tournament and wanted to get some
relaxation. On noting the boys age the delivery clerk informed the authorities.

When police arrived at the motel they found $3,000 in cash, numerous
electronic gadgets, an Xbox video console with numerous games, and the two local
escort girls.

so what youre telling me is that a chemical that no one should be exposed to is changing brain chemistry to make people more apt to break the law? something tells me the overcrowding in our bloated insane prison system might be caused by a little more than some paint chips. But interesting none the less.

ps.

i think whoever made this movie probably ate paint chips and SHOULD have been sent to jail. i say we let all the drug users out of prison and replace them with the fuckers who are putting crap like problem child and survivor in my brain. i should not have a place in my memorybanks for the above photo.

No one rides for free

2008-05-21T21:49:00.000-07:00

Dr. Robert L. Hirsch directed the US fusion energy program during the 1970s evolution of the Atomic Energy Commission (including initiation of the Tokamak Fusion Test Reactor), through the Energy Research and Development Administration to the present Department of Energy. In addition to his role in development of fusion energy by magnetic confinement, Hirsch was also interested in inertially confined fusion.

His previous management positions include:

* Senior Energy Program Advisor, SAIC (World oil production)
* Senior Energy Analyst, RAND (Various energy studies)
* Vice President of the Electric Power Research Institute (EPRI).
* Vice President and Manager of Research and Technical Services for Atlantic Richfield Co. (ARCO) (Oil and gas exploration and production).
* Founder and CEO of APTI, a roughly $50 million/year company now owned by BAE Systems. (Commercial & Defense Department technologies).
* Manager of Exxon’s synthetic fuels research laboratory.
* Manager of Petroleum Exploratory Research at Exxon. (Refining R & D).
* Assistant Administrator of the U.S. Energy Research and Development Administration (ERDA) responsible for renewables, fusion, geothermal and basic research. (Presidential Appointment).
* Director of fusion research at the U.S. Atomic Energy Commission and ERDA.

The Dr. had this to say, concerning the prices of oil:

“The prices that we’re paying at the pump today are, I think, going to be ‘the good old days,’ because others who watch this very closely forecast that we’re going to be hitting $12 and $15 per gallon,” Hirsch said. “And then, after that, when oil – world oil production goes into decline, we’re going to talk about rationing. In other words, not only are we going to be paying high prices and have considerable economic problems, but in addition to that, we’re not going to be able to get the fuel when we want it.”

if youre interested in reading more, check out the original article HERE

also read more about the HIRSCH REPORT

from wikipedia:

In 2005, the US Department of Energy published a report titled Peaking of World Oil Production: Impacts, Mitigation, & Risk Management.[105] Known as the Hirsch report, it stated, "The peaking of world oil production presents the U.S. and the world with an unprecedented risk management problem. As peaking is approached, liquid fuel prices and price volatility will increase dramatically, and, without timely mitigation, the economic, social, and political costs will be unprecedented. Viable mitigation options exist on both the supply and demand sides, but to have substantial impact, they must be initiated more than a decade in advance of peaking."

Myanmar Update

2008-05-18T15:12:00.000-07:00

cryptofascism

2008-05-17T12:18:00.000-07:00

"In the absence of any experience of accountability or transparency - the basic ingredients of an open society - even the most thoughtful Russians are prone to say: "Russia needs a strong man at the centre. Putin has made Russia great again. Now the world has to listen."
The new Prime Minister has brilliantly exploited the patriotism and latent xenophobia of the Russia people to unify them in the belief that they face a major threat from NATO and the United States.

This combination of national pride and insecurity has been fuelled by the America with its proposed deployment of missiles only a few hundred kilometres from the Russian border, allegedly to counter a nuclear threat from Iran.

No serious defence analyst believes this makes any strategic sense, while even impeccably pro-Western Russians recoil from this crass assertion of super-power hegemony by President Bush.

Similarly most Russians feel threatened - and humiliated - by the prospect that Ukraine and Georgia, once the most intimate allies of the Soviet Union, may soon be enfolded in the arms of NATO.
Georgia, which is struggling to contain a separatist movement that is openly supported by the Kremlin, has the potential to become a dangerous flashpoint in which the Western allies could only too easily become ensnared.

Does this mean - as some have argued - that we are about to face a new Cold War? I don't think so for a moment.

With communism consigned to "the dustbin of history", there is no ideological conflict of any significance. And there is now only one military superpower.
In comparison with America, Russia's armed forces are a joke. Only catastrophic stupidity on either side could lead to a nuclear confrontation.

But this does not mean that we can all breathe a sigh of relief and forget about the Bear.

An autocratic and resurgent Russia that feels bruised and threatened is an unstable beast.

The Kremlin's growing rapprochement with Beijing (the adversaries of a generation ago are now not only major trading partners, but conduct joint military exercises) shifts the balance of power in the world.

And as life on earth becomes less and less secure, with evermore people competing for a dwindling supply of vital resources, Russia, as an energy giant, is once again a big player on the world stage.

Make no mistake, we are in for a very bumpy ride."

read this article on putin. do it now.

beneath a limen

2008-05-15T12:03:00.000-07:00

From Wikipedia:
A subliminal message is a signal or message embedded in another medium, designed to pass below the normal limits of perception. These messages are unrecognizable by the conscious mind, but in certain situations can affect the subconscious or deeper mind and later actions or attitudes.

Subliminal techniques have occasionally been used in advertising and propaganda; the purpose, the effectiveness, and the frequency of the application of such techniques is debated.

Liberty City

2008-05-12T11:34:00.000-07:00

I'm sure most folks out there realize that a lot of the stuff they read/see in the mainstream media is bullshit, and that propaganda is not something that went out of style with Hitler. But here is evidence that it is still going on, in a major way, today. Some 8,000 pages released by the pentagon detailing a meticulously planned trip for "military analysts" to "inspect" the Guantanamo Bay detention camp in Cuba.

Basically after crazed left wing radicals such as The Red Cross started spreading totally false rumors about Gitmo, suggesting the good ol USA was using: "humiliating acts, solitary confinement, temperature extremes, use of forced positions" against prisoners. The inspectors concluded that "the construction of such a system, whose stated purpose is the production of intelligence, cannot be considered other than an intentional system of cruel, unusual and degrading treatment and a form of torture." The Pentagon took action, inviting ex military personnel to come visit the camp, and see for themselves, what kind of stuff was going on.

The "Military Analysts" spent a total of four hours in cuba total. They spent less than three hours touring the facility, and one hour was spent eating lunch with the troops.(gotta support them)

What did the Analysts see?
-a viewing of an interrogation,
-a tour of an "unoccupied cellblock,"
-a visit to the detention hospital.

Here is what one of the visitors had to say about their time spent in Cuba to CNN's Betty Nguyen

NGUYEN: Let's back up for just a moment, because you said you said watched an interrogation.

SHEPPERD: Yes.

NGUYEN: Kind of explain to us how that played out. And were there any instances of abuse or possible abuse?

SHEPPERD: Absolutely not. These -- when I sat and watched them, I want to be very careful in describing them. And I don't want to describe how we watched or anything of that sort. But basically, you're able to observe interrogations. They have various ways of monitoring the interrogations and what have you and letting you see what's going on. With the interrogations that we watched were interrogators, there were translators that translated for the detainee and there were also intelligence people in there.

And they're basically asking questions. They just ask the same questions over a long period of time. They get information about the person's family, where they're from, other people they knew. All the type of things that you would want in any kind of criminal investigation. And these were all very cordial, very professional. There was laughing in two of them that we...

NGUYEN: Laughing in an interrogation?

SHEPPERD: ... in the two of them that we watched. Yes, indeed. It's not -- it's not like the impression that you and I have of what goes on in an interrogation, where you bend people's arms and mistreat people. They're trying to establish a firm professional relationship where they have respect for each other and can talk to each other. And yes, there were laughing and humor going on in a couple of these things. And I'm talking about a remark made where someone will smirk or laugh or chuckle.

NGUYEN: All right. General Don Shepperd, we appreciate your time and that look inside Gitmo, with you being there on this tour. Thank you for that.

I would totally be cracking up too. I mean, naked pyramids are hilarious. Also this interrogation sounds particularly hilarious:

"he was stripped naked, isolated, given intravenous fluids and forced to urinate on himself, and exercised to exhaustion during interrogations that lasted 18 to 20 hours a day for 48 of 54 days."

Anyways, read the rest of the salon article, if this kind of stuff interests you as much as it does me. Its the sort of thing anyone with the slightest bit of common sense realized without having to be told, but its still sobering to read internal pentagon documents detailing how elaborate this particular charade went. This isnt even getting into terror alerts or WMDs or blackwater or what kind of shit is really going on in the streets of Iraq either. This is the stuff that is available for us to learn, its probably just the icing on the cake, y'know?

SOURCE

Now thats the News!

2008-05-02T08:16:00.000-07:00

Shailendra the Mighty

A man in eastern India says he is going to take to the air by hanging from a helicopter suspended by his ponytail.

Earlier this week Shailendra Roy drew large crowds when he pulled the famous Darjeeling toy train with his ponytail.

this just in

2008-04-29T18:50:00.000-07:00

sunday school

2008-04-27T18:38:00.000-07:00

Todays subject: Sister Rosetta Tharpe.

Sister Rosetta Tharpe was a famous gospel singer in the early part of the 20th century. She played a Gibson SG and she rocked pretty fucking hard for her time, and for the fact that she was in church. Cited as a favorite by Johnny Cash, and shouted out by Dylan on his theme time radio hour, this is Sister Rosetta Tharpe.

Lynchings in Congo as penis theft panic hits capital

2008-04-24T10:50:00.000-07:00

AP article.

----
KINSHASA (Reuters) - Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft

Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread, and where ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts still occur.

Rumours of penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo's sprawling capital of some 8 million inhabitants. They quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings.

Purported victims, 14 of whom were also detained by police, claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure.

"You just have to be accused of that, and people come after you. We've had a number of attempted lynchings. ... You see them covered in marks after being beaten," Kinshasa's police chief, Jean-Dieudonne Oleko, told Reuters on Tuesday.

Police arrested the accused sorcerers and their victims in an effort to avoid the sort of bloodshed seen in Ghana a decade ago, when 12 suspected penis snatchers were beaten to death by angry mobs. The 27 men have since been released.

"I'm tempted to say it's one huge joke," Oleko said.

"But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it'," he said.

Some Kinshasa residents accuse a separatist sect from nearby Bas-Congo province of being behind the witchcraft in revenge for a recent government crackdown on its members.

"It's real. Just yesterday here, there was a man who was a victim. We saw. What was left was tiny," said 29-year-old Alain Kalala, who sells phone credits near a Kinshasa police station.

Vertical Farms

2008-04-18T12:27:00.000-07:00

If there's one thing i love more than sustainable agriculture, its ANYTHING related to the future. This is some sick blade runner shit, just waiting for a crazy future when these are all run down and abandoned. Imagine the fucking crazy critters and ghosts that would love to live there.
Anyways green buildings are fucking sick.

Original Article.

Scott Anderson

2008-04-17T06:08:00.000-07:00

sick as fuck. check out more at http://www.scottandersonnet.com/ Also check out this interview with him at fecal face.

Black Holes and Revelations

2008-04-16T07:09:00.000-07:00

What is this machine? Why are some folk scared that it might create a black hole that could destroy earth as we know it? This is the story of the "Large Hadron Collider". Pretty interesting stuff, if you're into outer space, science, and mind-blowing.

Currently in its final stages of construction, the LHC will become the worlds largest and highest-energy particle accelerator, or ATOM SMASHER. I prefer atom smasher.

What exactly IS an atom smasher? and how can it destroy me? good questions. Very good. yes. Complicated questions too. Very complicated. Couldnt be fully explained without going down a very long list of terms and definitions, including but not restricted to:

Accelerator physics
Anatoli Bugorski
Astrophysics
Beam dump
Beam line
Betatron
Channelling
Cryomodule
Cyclotron
Dipole magnet
Electromagnetism
Electron cooling
Ion implanter
Linear particle
accelerator
List of particles
Particle beam
Particle detector
Particle physics
Quadrupole magnet
Stochastic cooling
Superconducting
Radio Frequency
Superconducting
Super Collider
Synchrotron

Feel free to read up on that stuff, and get back to me. My brain is too small to wrap around all that. So i will explain whats up with this death ray in working mans terms that even Kevin Federline can understand.

popozao!

Oohkay, so what you got here is your high energy atom smasher. A fuckin beam right. HELLA strong beam. Like a Gi joe lazer or something. Like Honey I shrunk the kids and shit.

seconds prior to blowing up the baby

Okay so we got this space lazer looking thing and it fucking blasts the beam. The beam hits these fucking hellllla tiny things. Like tiny lego blocks that make up our cells and shit. no not prison cells, like skin cells, and cocaine cells and titty cells and shit. Who gives a fuck about that? i know, right? Anyways, these rocket scientists study what happens when the high energy passes through these fucking hella tiny particles. Then they just chill and watch with their scientist microscope glasses.

fuckin 1.21 gigawatts and shit.

I know right? microscope fuckin glasses. Basically though, the more energy they put into the beam, the more information they can collect. They then use that information the engineer more frost into our flakes and shit. Make bigger boobs and tastier bigmacs and shit.

... okay. enough of that.

You might be surprised to learn that your tv set, or your computer monitor actually contain the components of a particle accelerator. The difference between your tv atom smasher, and this fucking big ass atom smasher that some people are buzzing over, is that the large hadron collider may very well produce what are known as "Micro black holes". These are just like the black holes that swallow planets and galaxies and shit, but much smaller.

Scientists say chill out, because they can just bombard the tiny black holes with "Hawking Radiation" Which are theorized to shrink black holes. I say theorized, because according to wikipedia Hawking Radiation is "yet an experimentally-tested or naturally observed phenomenon" and and haters of the LHC say that that "micro black holes produced in a terrestrial laboratory might not decay as rapidly as calculated, or might even not be prone to decay and, if unable to rapidly evaporate, they could start interacting, grow larger and potentially be disastrous to Earth itself". Other people say, "fuck the black holes man, im scared of strangeletes." Straggeletes are "hypothetical particles" that critics said could "transform the Earth almost instantly into a dead, dense lump." Tiny bit fucking dope.

This is some superhero shit. But not really because nothings going to happen, and we will just get bigger bigmacs and frostier flakes. However it think its still fun to hold on to some of that Fred Savage wonderyersment, and day dream about particle physics tearing open another dimension or something. Or even better.. superheroes?

The goggles. They do nothing.

Check out this article in the New York Times about the LHC and who can accuratley judge the safety of such an experiment.

re: Stinsonplayalistripballzalotmuzik : pt 2. THE BOOK OF RAL

2008-04-15T20:32:00.001-07:00

one for the books

dwight and san pablo

2008-04-15T19:56:00.001-07:00

Stinsonplayalistripballzalotmuzik

2008-04-15T18:59:00.000-07:00

close your eyes. let your mind wander.

hilarious

2008-04-15T08:13:00.000-07:00

article on cracked.com about the webbys and lolcatz.

Tulibu Dibu Daouchu

2008-04-13T14:45:00.000-07:00

I ken lee without you.

The saddest day.

2008-04-13T14:38:00.000-07:00

Here is someone who hates YouTube.

Guitars are for Losers.

2008-04-12T13:34:00.001-07:00

MEN
electric guitar 81%
bass guitar 81%
tuba 77%
kit drums 75%
trombone 71%

WOMEN
harp 90%
flute 89%
voice 80%
fife/piccolo 79%
oboe 78%

"My granddad played the flute, my dad played the flute, my uncle played the flute."

- Sir James Galway

Horror. Horrible.

2008-04-12T11:30:00.000-07:00

Remember the Sound of Music? You know that part where that lady sings about the female deer and the drop of golden sun? me a name i call myself, fa, a long long way to run. sew, a needle pulling thread... anyway there is a lost verse that references walking dog robots with space-age hyper-advanced error correction modules for traversing unstable terrain and obstacles including human resistance. and here it is.

Item# 14159

2008-04-12T00:14:00.000-07:00

Just like candy.

2008-04-11T08:09:00.000-07:00

Detectives followed a trail of candy wrappers to Fourth and Race Street. Once on the scene, they arrested 19 year old Christine Ruther. Ruther and three others broke a window to get inside Minges Candy Store on Court Street in Downtown Cincinnati at 1:00 a.m.

Police say Ruther took her baby out of a stroller so she could fill it with $400 worth of candy.

who could have ever imagined this fine young woman would be capible of such things as midnight candy robberies. Perhaps she just watched the Cameo DVD and after "Candy" came on she could no longer help herself. "Come on baby i'm getting us some sweet sweet candy." "Baby get out of that stroller i need to put the candy in there!!"

"Oakland Street Dealers Store Drugs Up Their Butts"

2008-04-11T07:52:00.000-07:00

That is a real headline. Totally unabridged. Drug dealers, specifically ones from the city in which i reside, Oakland. Are using their asses to hold on to their stash. "Dr H" from heroinhelper.com explains:

"The balloons protect the drugs inside because rubber is not digested; after swallowing, the dealer can vomit them back up (if it hasn't been too long) or defecate them out."

Oh right on. Sounds almost as delicious as jenkem.

At the Oakland Police Department's Citizen Police Academy, normal folk can come to learn
about the different roles within the police dept, and the magical whimsical world of drugs. One visitor who came on behalf of her neighborhood watch group received quite the lesson on illicit narcotics.

"The drug testing technician told us that often drugs are stored in body cavities of those selling them, and therefore that some of the drugs that they confiscate have fecal matter and other liquids/materials from 'down there' in them. She says that some of the marijuana she has tested has had pubic hair in it."

Not that this kind of thing doesn't happen among more affluent circles:

It's just that you expect your pennies to have been in a urinal, or an ass already. But not your drugs man. not the drugs.

i need this

2008-04-11T06:41:00.001-07:00

steampunk laptop. and it works.

what the fuck is steam punk? my new favorite thing.

These Glasses are Famous.

2008-04-10T12:54:00.000-07:00

Tagz: Australian Blokes, Suburban Folks, Chinese People, Mexicans, Glasses, Famous, Party, Mexicano, TexMex, Spicy, Crispy, Beef, Hispanic, Spanish, Mexicans, Chinese Food, Rude Woman on Bart, Surf 'n Turf, Best Weekend Ever, Beer

BERKLEY

2008-04-10T07:26:00.000-07:00

Not Berkeley. Different story. This is a story of a tallented illustrator working out of portland. His name is Ryan. This is but a taste of his talent. Check out his blog. LETS SHARE: THE BERKLEY BLOG. Also Check out his amazing wife (who also helps out Ryan big time) Lucy.

The Real Mario

2008-04-09T08:20:00.001-07:00

fucking creepy

Jocelyn and Ed

2008-04-09T06:51:00.000-07:00

Continuing coverage on amazingly insane relationships, we have a rolling stone article about the story of Jocelyn and Ed . Jocelyn Kirsch is a compulsive liar. One of those girls who re invents herself every few months. Shifting friends, always interested in something different. She had 3 guys who all thought they were the only ones dating her. Shallow and self conscious, she couldn't stand to be alone. She claimed to speak 11 languages, and wore fake contacts to change her eye color. She claimed to be a pole vaulter for Penn State. She was a kleptomaniac who stole from her closest friends. Ed was a Penn State graduate working as an annalist. With a new life and a comfortable salary Ed only lacked someone to share his success with. He would literally find his partner in crime in Jocelyn.

One might say that Jocelyn and Ed were like peas and carrots. Jocelyn needed someone to spend lots of money on her, and give her attention. Ed needed some kind of security blanket. Someone to make him feel important again. Within months of meeting, the two were traversing the globe, taking expensive vacations, and spending exorbitant amounts of money on overpriced designer crap. Sounds like any other typical yuppie relationship at first. Except for one thing. Jocelyn wasn't the trust fund baby she claimed to be, and Ed was fired from his job after lying about his use of sick days.

It was all a big, gleeful sham. Ed had actually been canned from his job four months before, and twenty-two-year-old Jocelyn was a senior at nearby Drexel University, a big step down from Penn. When Philadelphia police busted into the couple's apartment a few days later, they found an extensive identity-theft operation, complete with a professional ID maker, computer spyware, lock-picking tools and a crisp North Carolina driver's license soaking in a bowl of bleach. Though the investigation is still unfolding, this much is apparent: The lovebirds stand accused of using other people's names and Social Security numbers to scam at least $100,000, sometimes buying merchandise and selling it online to raise more cash.
What's striking about the two grifters is how determined they were to flaunt their ill-gotten gains. They acted not like furtive thieves but like two kids on a joy ride, utterly delighted by their own cleverness — as in the invitation Jocelyn e-mailed to friends not long before their arrests, announcing a surprise twenty-fifth-birthday party for Ed at an upscale tapas bar. "My treat, of course!" she'd written. Steeped in narcissism and privilege, fueled by entitlement and set in an age of consumer culture run amok, theirs is truly an outlaw romance for the twenty-first century. The Philadelphia Daily News immediately dubbed the photogenic couple "Bonnie and Clyde." It's a name some people take exception to. "Bonnie and Clyde, that's only because they're young and good-looking," scoffs Detective Terry Sweeney of the Philadelphia police. "These two were complete idiots. If this was two fat fucks from South Philly, it would have been Turner and Hooch."
...read the rest of the article here

New this Summer

2008-04-08T18:43:00.000-07:00

habanera

2008-04-08T09:32:00.001-07:00

Close your eyes

2008-04-07T17:11:00.001-07:00

let your mind wander..

...sshhh.....

Awesome disobedience = Thoreau back .

2008-04-07T14:35:00.000-07:00

Tibetan protesters scaled up the golden gate bridge today, and unfurled giant banners. This comes less than 2 days before the torch is due to make its stop in San Francisco. The group responsible, calling themselves 'Team Tibet', disguised themselves using civilian clothes, strollers, and i can only hope, fake mustaches. They then used their hidden climbing equipment to rappel up the cables, (150 feet above the road and 370 feet above water) and then unleash their banners.Obviously they were arrested when they came down. They face a possible fine.

The damage is done though, this is great. Great civil disobedience. I'm loving this. I can only imagine what its going to be like when the torch comes through SF. Hopefully people will pay more attention than the last time someone told them to free tibet, which was most likley at woodstock 94, or a bjork concert.

For more on protesting the torch in SF, see here.

For more on the history of Tibet, including rape of tibet by china, see here.

For more on civil disobedience in general, see here.

Nagi Noda

2008-04-07T11:35:00.000-07:00

Check out this Coke ad, featuring a song written by Jack White. It is directed by Japanese Pop Artist Nagi Noda.

--
Other works by Noda:
Sweating to the Surreal.

A fucking insane clip of a fitness instructor dressed in a body suit that gives her the appearance of having muscles shaped like the fur of a poodle. Also, exercising with her in the video are six actors dressed in dog costumes, with actual live dogs' heads superimposed over their real heads.It was created for the 2004 Olympics.

I dont know what to say about this. It reminds me of the Michel Gondry video for Daft Punk's around the world.

This seems to be some early footage, or some test footage for the effect that would later be used in the coke ad. It makes me wonder who did this effect first, Noda or Gondry in the Hardest button to button video.

A commercial for some Japanese mineral water.

Havent a fucking clue...

Alfreda and Anton

2008-04-06T11:16:00.000-07:00

Alfreda Van Bladel had prepared a dinner for her husband, Anton, that consisted of hot dogs.

At some point the man snatched the plate of hot dogs from his wife's hands.

This action prompted the Alfreda to stab her husband in the shoulder with a steak knife.

Anton Van Bladel then grabbed a handgun and pointed it at his wifes head and softly informed her that he was going to kill her.

"I will kill you. I swear to god Alfreda, I earned these hotdogs and goddamnit im going to eat them. "

"Well whats stoppin you now then. You're pointin a fucking gun at my head. You can eat whatever the fuck you want now. Shit- why dont you go ahead and do it Anton. Mr big man. Big scary Anton. Just do it already. Aint like cleanin up after your shit ass is much of a livin anyway."

Alfreda grabbed the gun and pressed it into her forhead even harder.

"JUST FUCKING DO IT ALREADY" She screamed

"Why'd you have go go and stab me like that." Anton pulled a cigarette out of the pack in his front shirt pocket. The right pocket. He always kept a pack there. He looked into Alfreda's eyes as he puffed on the Marlboro red. Her wild eyes. The ones that he had fallen in love with 15 years ago. Freshmen year. Anton passed her the cigarette. He was still holding the gun to her head.

"I had to stand up f'er myself someday. What'n the hell am i supposed to eat 'f you go 'n snatch up all the hotdogs." She blew smoke rings. She knew Anton loved it when she did her smoke tricks. He thought it made her look like a hollywood movie star.

The smoke rings floated towards Anton, dissipating around him. He smiled for a second, and then frowned. "How'n the hell 're you gonna cook us a dinner consisting of only three goddamn hotdogs. That aint 'enough. First off you know i like my Hungry Mans-"

"Well ther aint no goddamn money for Hungry Mans Anton. We aint even got 'nuff for a whole pack of hotdogs. Why the hell do you think i only cooked three." Anton was not listening. This is because he kept talking over Alfreda.

"-Thats cus thats what i am. A hungry man. Those things are heavy Alfreda you know that. I know you know that cus 'yer the ones what fuckin buyin em. I jus get so darn hungry."

"Shit Anton just fucking kill me." *sobs* "Just fucking kill me and eat me then. Thats all I am to you. Just a fucking food source."

Anton lowered the gun from his wifes temple.

"Damnit Alfreda. Look at your eyes. So wild. You 'member when i asked you to wear my jacket."

Anton wiped the tears from Alfredas eyes. She smiled. "heh. Yeah, it was all covered in mud because you went muddin' with the windows down."

"Yes and you took it anyways, cuz you knew that i didnt know how to get it cleaned. And you threw it in your mamas dryer and freshened it up with your trick."

"hah- that werent no trick Anton. Its just some dryer sheets." she laughed.

"Well i aint never seen nothin like it." Anton began crying. "Sure seemd like some magic to me Alfreda. Damnit you know i love you. Im sorry i pointed sheila at'cha. I just get so emotional is all."

"Aww hell i know you didnt mean it. Come here you big ox."

/scene.

original Article.

what the fuck?

2008-04-05T18:59:00.001-07:00

?????????????

Veni, Vedi, Bookcase Bedroom.

2008-04-05T14:02:00.000-07:00

Had some free time this morning, so me and two Japanese dudes did a little light contruction. Results were half-bubble off plum.

[photo deleted by robbie]

other things that are tiny

2008-04-04T14:47:00.000-07:00

Re: Pismo for President's day weekend?

2008-04-04T14:44:00.000-07:00

Every once in a great while, a story comes along that touches you so deeply your toes begin to tingle. For me it was that elephant painting.

tiny frogs

2008-04-04T14:42:00.001-07:00

ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2008-04-04T07:34:00.000-07:00

1581 - Francis Drake completes a circumnavigation of the world and is knighted by Elizabeth I.

Sir Francis drake is fucking insane. (I would have said awesome, but my better judgment tells me he probably was pretty savage.) He was a privateer. If you dont know, that means he was a legal pirate, contracted by the government. (Not unlike our own private militiamen, BLACKWATER.) He was also a navigator, a slave trader, and a politician. He was a hero to the English, and a brutal pirate to the Spanards, to whom he was known as "El Draque". The Dragon. At one time the king of Spain offered a bounty of 20,000 Ducats for El Draque's head. (20,000 ducats = 1 metric fuckload of money)

1841 - William Henry Harrison dies of pneumonia becoming the first President of the United States to die in office and serve the shortest term.

1850 - Los Angeles, and its historic Adobes are incorporated into California.

1964 - The Beatles occupy the top five positions on the Billboard Hot 100 pop chart.

1968 - Martin Luther King, Jr. is assassinated by James Earl Ray at a motel in Memphis, Tennessee.

BORN ON THIS DAY:

Dutch-born woodcarver "Grinling Gibbons" is born on this day in 1648. Gibbons also shares a birthday with lesser known celebrities such as, Muddy Waters (1915), Maya Angelou (1928), Craig "Coach" "T" "Nelson" (1944), David E Kelley (creator of the OC), Agent Smith/Elrond Hugo Weaving "1960" (i really thought he could have been born in like 1500 for some reason.), David Cross (1964), RDJR (robert downey jr.) (1965), Mix Master Mike (1970), AND MR DAVID BLAINE (1973)

I leave you now, with gibbons.

Dear Fellow Elephant Enthusiasts

2008-04-03T12:47:00.000-07:00

Follow me to CHANGE YOUR LIFE

Drawing from Ozu's Goodmorning

2008-04-03T11:15:00.000-07:00

The story is centred on two suburban boys, brothers, who refuse to talk in an attempt at pressuring their parents into buying a television.

Shock and Awww

2008-03-27T06:25:00.000-07:00

Vice President Cheney is betting against the American economy, and his investments prove it.
A tidbit:

As of the end of last year, Cheney and his wife, Lynne, held between $10
million and $25 million in Vanguard Short-Term Tax-Exempt fund (VWSTX, news, msgs)
(it's impossible to be more precise because the disclosure form lists holdings
within ranges). The fund's holdings of tax-free municipal bonds mature, on
average, in a little more than a year -- meaning that the fund should hold up
well if rates rise.
The Cheneys held another $1 million to $5 million in
Vanguard Tax-Exempt Money Market fund (VMSXX, news, msgs),
which is practically risk-free and could benefit from continued increases in
short-term interest rates. And the couple had between $2 million and $10 million
in Vanguard Inflation-Protected Securities fund (VIPSX, news, msgs).
The principal and interest payments of inflation-protected bonds rise along with
consumer prices, making them good inflation hedges.

I know most of us are used to being lied to, but come on! This man is a trickster of ultimate proportions! He's sinking our yacht in broad daylight!

So, how'd you make the yacht disappear?

Michael, a magician never reveals - I sunk it. At least I think I sunk
it. I mean, I blew it up and I don't see it anywhere!

This is almost as bad as the international bankers creating the federal reserve and engineering a panic, and making it worse to profit and buy huge corporations for pennies on the dollar. Its hard to believe that anyone would destroy the economy for their own profit. Except for some kind of ultra high level CEO Lex Luthor supervillan. Or the penguin.

Halliburton, makin money money money off iraq. That company, to which Mr. Vice prez served as CEO to for 5 years b'twixt 1995 and y2k. Halliburton had made an estimated 20 billion off the bush admin as of 2k5. God knows how much know, and during that time though Cheney said he had no financial ties to Halliburton (lie) He retained his stock options, which rose 3281%. (source) From $200,000 to 8 million. Not that it really matters to the emperor, some estimates have him worth close to 88 million dollars (per hour) jk jk. but seriously sire is bankin. cash stackin in the most ultimate of ways. He will probs just use the money he made off the war for a bigger money bed.

Chump change. Wait till he gets the collapsed economy money. I can only imagine that after all is said and done that he will be worth billions. Ultimate power!!

Original Article.

Food Prices Across the Globe are Rising

2008-03-25T17:33:00.001-07:00

If you're seeing your grocery bill go up, you're not alone.

read more | digg story

the prodigal sinbad returns

2008-03-25T07:05:00.001-07:00

Why is Sindbad in the news? As it turns out, his 15 minutes of fame happened to coincide with a 1996 trip to Bosnia accompanying then First Lady Hillary Clinton, and singer/songwriter Sheryl Crow on a TOP SECRET MISSION. I can only imagine that sinbad was there to train interrogators in new enhanced interrogation techniques, such as playing VHS reruns of "the Sindbad show" while serving olestra chips (see anal leakage) and listening to cheryl crow all i wanna do over and over and over and never stopping and also Hillary and Chelsea are just smiling at you. Not even talking or even blinking. Just smiling. Chips keep getting shoved into your mouth and sinbad is standing next to the old television set blaring, fighting Sheryl Crow for eardrum dominance. Leaking, Squeaking, laughing. Scary faces. Such techniques were eventually deemed too brutal, and more Orthodox and humane techniques such as sensory bombardment, stress positions, and water boarding, came back into fashion for the Iraq war.

Whats the most you ever lost at a Sinbad concert?

So yesterday Hillary Clinton is flappin' her gums about being more "experienced" or something. And shes talking about her Bosnian creep out mission. And how happy the Bosnians were to have their kind masters there to liberate their freedoms from their freedom haters. There was going to be a little ceremony dedicated to the heroes. There was no little Hillary ceremony. That is because SNIPERS ambushed their arrival. Snipers shooting right at our beloved first lady!!!! Would you believe? Shes practically John McCain. Crouched in the jungles drinking rain water collected in a little leaf. Hiding out from charlie. So brave. Little Hillary Clinton. Also brave, was little Chelsea. Along for this wild ride. It was supposed to be a ride of comedy, and crow, and crowds. And airplanes and soldier. Only the dodging of bullet fire. Ducking and covering for them. Fear of death.

Thanks to the magic of "the video tape" actual footage of this dangerous encounter EXISTS. I immediately contacted my friends at CBS to play me a tape. Their historians were able to look all the way back into the 1996 archives.

We got the tape. Cobwebbed and dusty, we gathered over the glowing idol. And gently ran our fingers across it. After minutes of lusting, we thrust the tape into the tape hole.
It contains a shocking revelation.

Lets just say Mrs. Clinton's memory is significantly LESS experienced at remembering than that of an elephant. (laughter)

Horton didn't hear shit.

Video shows the Clinton's calmly leaving the airplane, doing their little parade waive. Beaming as they are greeted to a small crowd and a little ceremony. An 8 year old girl reads a poem.

Clinton called the incident a "blip"

"I say a lot of things -- millions of words a day -- so if I misspoke, that was
just a misstatement,"

I guess a "misstatement" is the same thing as "complete fucking fabrication" when you get down to it. Really though. A blip? She would have been better off telling sinbad to quit snitchin'.
At least picked up some of those bay area super delegates, such as this fine gentleman.

Does anyone realize that she only says this shit, because of the throngs of under educated Americans, who can only digest info blurbs, and little anecdotes, to make up their minds? "yeah Hillary has more experience, shes been to Bosnia, and even was under attack by snipers!

My roommate actually tried to tell me she thought Obama wasn't "experienced enough" and we argued for well over an hour, and she just kept saying "I just don't think he has the experience" This is because she saw it as some headline, and assumed it to be absolute truth. That is until she saw some other headline, presumably touting Obama. At which point, she changed her mind 2 days later, and told me she thought Obama might well be the man for the job.

Does anyone read anymore?? Does anyone actually LISTEN anymore? We have all become so used to just reading the headline, and assuming we know, or someone else knows for us. Just trust the headlines folks, it leads to wonderful things.

The country who elected a semi retarded white collar cowboy, twice, now has the choice between someone who has yet to be tainted by this monstrous partisan insane asylum we know as the two party system, someone who actually represents the changing of the guard, a chance to break free from the same shit we've been dealing with for the last 30 years, versus a completely insane first lady, who represents no one, and nothing, except her own tired and bizarre agenda. Hillary Clinton is actually latin for FAKE SHIT. The following is from an article on super delegates, it contains quotes from US rep Tim Mahoney, a superdelegate. For those of you who dont know what a superdelegate is.. go fuck yourself.

As an uncommitted super delegate, Mahoney said he has been wooed by Clinton and
Obama for an endorsement. Clinton has been the more aggressive solicitor,
Mahoney said.

Mahoney said he has met twice with Obama. He has met more often
with Clinton. Two weeks ago, Mahoney attended a cocktail party at Clinton’s
house in Washington, D.C., he said. Mahoney told of how impressed he is by
Clinton’s commitment to helping people and her human touch. When Clinton learned that Mahoney’s daughter is interested in horses, she called the girl to encourage her interest, Mahoney said.

What kind of fake shit is that? What year is this again? This kind of shit works? I fucking hope not. Maybe Hillarys biological clock got reset to 1900 after Y2k. Well, she likes horses, my daughter likes horses. And she cares about the children. Even called one. Forget about the fact that it was probably a drunk dial. Shit who am i kidding, it was probably the first real conversation Hillary has had since she was 12. But really that is some desperate shit. Explain to daddy why its better to force people to have healthcare, instead of making it accessible to all. What exactly is this "experience, and how exactly is it better than what the good senator from Illinois has accomplished" Don't just go talk horseys with the women folk while daddy smiles and puffs a cigar.

Ill give her one thing, she has a lot in common with someone most middle Americans can relate to.

my new favorite website

2008-03-20T10:33:00.000-07:00

From the marvelous website, sugar bush squirrel. Im sure pages upon pages could be written about the madness contained in this website... but i really dont have any words. it speaks for itself pretty loud and clear. some of the highlights :

Sugar Bush Squirrel's warning to Kim Jong-il of North Korea July 4th was loud and clear,
"Don't make me come over there!"
Sugar Bush goes on to say, "You can't trust these North Korean guys because it's obvious that they're testing a way to launch a nuclear warhead. After 6 tests today which included a T-2 long range missle, capable of reaching the USA but which failed 42 seconds in mid-air after lift off, our American government calls it 'provocation', but I call it an imminent threat to our allies, Japan and South Korea."
Sugar Bush says face-to-face on a private computer hook-up with Kim Jong-il himself, "Don't make me come over there!"

Sugarbush may be among the last true patriots left in this country.

more...

website. http://sugarbushsquirrel.com/

Do the whirlwind

2008-03-19T11:19:00.000-07:00

I love sprite animation. Really brings me back to the good old days of the 90's. ah 90s nostalgia. never would have thought. Soon we will be sitting back talkin bout the 00's.

Some more stuff by the man who created that video, paul robertson.

tum tum double trouble.

2008-03-14T12:53:00.000-07:00

I think ive been eating too many tums. According to wikipedia, the recomended intake of calcium for an adult such as myself, aged 19-52 is about 1000mg. T I have been consuming 8- 10 ultra strength tums a day, which contain calcium carbonate, which is 40% elemental calcium. 1000 mg ultra strength tums= 400mg calcium. This puts me somewhere in the vicinity of 300% of recommended dosage.

Unlike vitamin C excess, which is simply passed though your urine, an excess in calcum can result in some pretty heinous situations, including but not limited to : "muscle weakness and constipation, affect the conduction of electrical impulses in the heart lead to calcium stones in the urinary tract, impair kidney function, and interfere with the absorption of iron, predisposing to iron deficiency."

ALSO:

As it turns out, taking antacids (such as tums), decreases the amount of stomach acid and causes the food in your stomach to ferment and make you fart more than this man:

So essentially, i have been ruining myself. i only can only imagine the science experiments going on in that mans stomach. Based on the fact that there are three sausage mcmuffins apparently fermenting in my stomach, he and i are not that different. somewhere between a sewage treatment facility and a slaughterhouse lies the smell brewing inside me. Also there are tiny stones waiting to escape from my urethra. fucking hell.

the genius of vintage kevin johnson

2008-03-13T09:14:00.001-07:00

the following is reposted from dorians old group blog circa 2001. please note that though it may seem like i missed a part at the end, it is actually the ending. this is only the tip of the iceberg that is the genius of vintage kevin johnson. i miss that kid.

----

Thursday, October 25, 2001

A Story: of Might and Magic
This is the tale of Kabuki and the magic forest of the Albino Tapirs. Kabuki was traveling with his feline companion Henroe to the Whimsical World of Wonder and Soup. He had with him, his trusty bag of Neverending Gardettos and a revolver. By the way, Henroe had blindsight meaning...he could fly. Suddenly they came across a giant Cantalope which also had blindsight. Kabuki shot it and they continued on their journey. Suddenly Kabuki had a heart attack.

* * *

This is the tale of how Henroe stole his dead friend's belongings and went on a Mystical journey to the land of Soup and Crackers. At this point Henroe had in his haversack, a revolver, an empty bag of Gardettos, and a plump and ripe cantalope which Henroe had drawn a face on and named Banjo. he began to comb his hair with his shoe, then swearing drunkenly, shot Banjo. Pudding went EVERYWHERE! Then "The Hustle" started playing and Henroe danced. Long story short Henroe got Cracker Poisoning and had to stay at the hospital for 4 weeks with eye sickness. Henroe got a rare blindsight morphation and his blindsight changed, but you'll have to read about that in the next story...The Tale Of

posted by Kevin at

Hawaii Chair

2008-03-11T13:10:00.000-07:00

Nothing was delivered.

2008-03-11T09:46:00.000-07:00

Eagles rest where no man can reach. Their golden eggs sit snugly in fortress nests. No words for poachers such as the ones found in rescuers down under. Cant say i don't sympathize with such a lofty goal, but not one at such a cost. Eagles are essentially what dreams are made of. Dream killing is best left to the religious zealots. (Terrorists, Southern baptists, Scientologists, etc)

I live off of dreams. They are always better than real life. Better faster stronger creepier. Like the time James crashed his car into the security gate at the fox lot. He had a seizure while driving and crashed into a fence, or something close to that. Later his boss gave him a bill. The memory i choose to create for myself is something much more spectacular.

I imagine james, steady with bloodshot eyes, and smelling of whiskey and grass and cottage cheese, gripping the wheel tightly, while skirting and maneuvering turns and obstacles with all the skill and nonchalance of a jackie chan stunt driver tokyo drifting on a top secret steve mcqueen CIA mission. He approaches the gate and zooms in on the elite republican guard, machine gun resting on his shoulder. James floors it and busts through the gate. Tiny splinters of white and black painted wood explode in slow motion and rain back down. the guard begins firing at him from behind, shattering the back windshield. James squints his eyes and rips the steering wheel hard to the left. spinning around 180 degrees, and floors it again. this time headed straight for the booth. close up of the guards face as he realizes what is about to happen. just before the collision everything goes black.

fade in on james in the car, slumped over the steering wheel, blood smeared across his face. He is foggy and slowly surveys the chaos as sirens blare in the distant background. he is directly over the rubble of what was once the guard booth. He bangs the glovebox, like a fonz to a jukebox. It pops open and james grabs his pistol. He shoves the door open, and stumbles out. He steps out, and trips forward, his foot right having just set down on the face of the guard who is wedged between the car and the rubble. "thats the way she goes" he mutters, and stumbles on. He surveys the scene, noting a flood of troopers running towards the scene. He waivers his pistol in the direction the mass of elite military personnel rushing towards his general direction. He tries to aim, but his vision is still blurry. POP, POP, POP. He fires off some rounds into the blurry mass. Some fall, others keep running. POP, POP, POP. they are firing back, a bullet hits him in the shoulder, as he spins around hard, his giant body thudding to the ground. The soldiers crowd around him. They haven't killed him yet, the must have some questions for him. "sometimes she goes, and sometimes she doesn't." He fires off one last shot, hitting one of the guards right in the face. "cuz thats just the way she goes" The butt of a riffle smacks james face with a loud crack. Blackness.

More adventures in scary ancient advertising.

2008-03-07T11:16:00.000-08:00

while on the subject of throwback advertising, i must mention this ad for the jolly green giant.

I'm not sure what the story is here. the above incarnation doesn't seem jolly or green. his gigantism is immediately apparent however. no words. just that joker grin and a little magic. the magic speaks louder than words ever could. this man is much scarier than the hulk and the joker combined. he seems to be casting a spell or hypnotising me. some sort of erection charmer perhaps? i am officially at half stock, but i also threw up in my mouth a little bit.

"fo fum fi fee" ??? isnt that what the giant from jack and the beanstalk says? right before he tries to kill jack after smelling the blood of an englishman. doesnt matter because we all know how that one ended.

fresh perked

2008-03-07T11:13:00.000-08:00

According to this ad, instant Folgers tastes good as "fresh perked". Also it keeps this man from leaving his wife in favor of one of the presumably short skirted office sluts. It ends some fuck me faces, and candle being blown out, and the insinuation of some pretty serious deep dicking. percolated. there's a word that doesn't get used enough anymore.

1,234

2007-07-20T18:22:00.000-07:00

"I'm glad to be in the Guinness Book as the fattest man. I am also happy to have lost 200 kilos," Manuel Uribe, 41, told AFP.

2007-07-13T08:55:00.000-07:00

Mr Xishun shakes hands with Mr Ping Ping

Wheres the beef?

2007-07-12T13:26:00.001-07:00

"What's in the recipe?" the reporter asks. "Six to four," the man says.

"You mean 60 percent cardboard? What is the other 40 percent?" asks the reporter. "Fatty meat," the man replies.

crushing your head

2007-07-10T23:30:00.001-07:00

Stand By

2007-07-10T18:37:00.000-07:00

Some American pet owners have started to make their own pet food

"World's Smallest Horse Has Tall Order"

2007-03-20T00:17:00.000-07:00

In the months after being named "World's Smallest Living Horse" by Guinness World Records last summer, Thumbelina has certainly not been short on attention.

"I'll have her out for hours. She's so mild mannered, everything just seems to brush off her shoulders. There have been 100 kids around petting her and she'll take a nap," Goessling said.

The tiny horse and her charitable foundation have helped raise about $10,000 for children's charities since she gained World record status as the smallest horse ever recorded, at 17 1/2 inches at the withers.

"She went to the door, and her cat went berserk"

2007-03-11T10:23:00.000-07:00

CNN's Story highlights:
• Feline attacked Idaho woman, inflicting more than 20 bite wounds
• Cat went on rampage after seeing neighbor at door with another cat
• Owner attacked previously and ready to part with cat, says fire official

Interpretive Art

"Hey, Bill's leaving."

2007-03-11T09:47:00.000-07:00

never

2007-02-26T22:29:00.000-08:00

pretend midnight. the time when i chose to become the person i am not was the best time i ever had. i closed my eyes and the words came out. the sensation was real and my spine shivered. she never said so but i knew. i had never felt so much and said so little.

Texting Novels

2007-01-25T15:30:00.000-08:00

Sorry Finland, I've been doing this for years.

Survivors!

2007-01-20T21:15:00.000-08:00

Fridge Duck!

Jungle Lady!

Jesusaurus

2007-01-18T11:05:00.000-08:00

Museum in Kentucky displays a bibically accurate scene of humans and dinosaurs living peacefully together 6000 years ago. The institution's future plans include a formal wedding for the dog and cat, who have been living in sin.

Little Hope for Golden-Rumped Elephant Shrew

2007-01-18T08:38:00.000-08:00

Baby Loris.

Berlin Moving Forward

2007-01-14T11:32:00.000-08:00

Gigantic 6 story Church of Scientology completed in Berlin. Be sure and stop by and "test the "E-meter", an electronic device that in the hands of a trained Scientology "auditor" can allegedly detect a person's mood swings, or apparently help recall previous traumatic incidents."

Cancer Over-Easy

2007-01-14T11:16:00.000-08:00

Chickens with fancy genes lay cancer-fighting eggs. Fact.

Morrissey on Eurovision!

2007-01-13T10:41:00.000-08:00

Helsinki knows im miserable now.

My Love

2007-01-13T10:06:00.000-08:00

I could see us holdin hands, walkin on the beach our toes in the sand.

"He said he hadn't seen the recent movie, "Snakes on a Plane," starring Samuel L. Jackson."

Chinese Police September Storm

2007-01-13T08:29:00.000-08:00

867-4309

Hot and then Cold

2007-01-08T08:50:00.000-08:00

Here are the CNN Story Highlights:
• Photo taken in 1800s in Sheboygan, Wisconsin
• Newspaper included it in 2007 calendar
• Internet fueling publicity, inquiries, theories about photo
• Sheboygan law at the time: Riders must stay with dead horse

Wham, bam, thank you George Michael.

2007-01-05T08:34:00.000-08:00

unnamed businessman is reported to have paid the record sum for George Michael to entertain his 300 guests on his private estate 20 miles outside Moscow.
$3 millionn.

Wyclef the Ambassador

2007-01-04T11:02:00.000-08:00

Finally.

Cone Shuttle, The Final Frontier

2007-01-04T10:17:00.000-08:00

"The billionaire founder of Amazon.com has released the first images of the launch of a private spacecraft that could bring space travel to the masses."
As early as 2010? of course Mr. Bezos.

2007-01-04T10:06:00.000-08:00

The lucrative industry of stealing and smuggling vast amounts of crude oil.

"The world's eighth biggest exporter of crude has been losing more than 500,000 barrels of oil per day since February last year when militants demanding greater local control of oil wealth staged a series of raids on the industry."

Bee Plus

2007-01-04T09:21:00.000-08:00

Rehnquist Unveiled

2007-01-04T09:14:00.000-08:00

Here are the highlights of the CNN story that brought us the most hilarious picture on earth:
• William Rehnquist underwent withdrawal from a prescribed painkiller, FBI files say
• Symptoms included hallucinations, paranoid ideas
• The Supreme Court justice took Placidyl for a decade
• The files also suggest the FBI was used to block political opposition to Rehnquist

Year of the Pig

2007-01-03T08:43:00.000-08:00

China Where its Going Down.

Copy Cat

2006-12-31T17:57:00.000-08:00

Japanese man creates android model of himself to get double the work done. Seen below posing with android clone.

Copy Cat

2006-12-31T17:48:00.000-08:00

Cat who shares uncanny similarities with my cat makes headlines for being a cat in city hall full of business dogs.

Team Planet Earth

2006-12-30T12:25:00.000-08:00

Ahem. Well, it looks like humanity isn't going to be sustaining itself in space as soon as we would have liked, so we are going to have to make some room on the blue planet. Lets begin by cutting out some of the greedy little critters that are selfishly squandering our breathing air and drinking water. Starting this year, extinction is immanent for:

*** one bird in eight
*** 13% of the world's flowering plants
*** a quarter of all mammals.

US researchers estimate that by 2020, less than 5% of the Amazon will remain in pristine condition.

then over the next 50 years lets cut out all the fish.

this will give us plenty of elbow room to plan for the big event; the worlds sixth mass extinction.
so far, we have had these five (weak-baby-weiner) extinctions:

Cretaceous (About 65 million years ago)
Triassic (About 208 million years ago)
Permian (About 245 million years ago)
Devonian (About 360 million years ago)
Ordovician (About 438 million years ago)

but if we play our cards right, by 2080, the list can look like this:

Cretaceous (About 65 million years ago)
Triassic (About 208 million years ago)
Permian (About 245 million years ago)
Devonian (About 360 million years ago)
Ordovician (About 438 million years ago)
Jesus Returns

And since america is winning;

We get to be the first ones hand-lifted to space. er, heaven. er, heaven-space. which is like myspace but for americans who bribed jesus by inviting the apocolypse.

Visualize Whirled Peas

2006-12-30T12:06:00.000-08:00

"Saddam A Go-Go" As written by GWAR.

I at the time was a communist
Lived on a collective farm
She was a part-time antichrist
Our sex went off like a bomb
Living the life of a terrorist
Looking for the man Saddam,
Who gave me a gun as Iran to the sun
If you die like a dog then you are then you are Saddam
They shall drown in their own blood!
Hail Saddam a go-go!
Going to Saddam a go-go
Everybody is there
Business of strange bed fellows
Makes you dance around like a bear Ein, Schwein, kick him in the eye
Teamed up with the Asian eye
They were the ones Who could rise with the sun
As they lived in their planes
And they died
[repeat a lot!]
How they died... Hail!
The running paper tiger chases its own tail
Hail Saddam a go-go
He was someone who was there for people like me
Hi there Saddam, loved the party
Yes they're all here with me
Bloody Saddam
Loves you always, always a kick
Bloody Saddam
Even though the smell is making me sick
As we sit on our roofs
And cheer as your scuds fall like rain
Here at the ancient ziggaraunt Saddam is presiding there
Running around with a saxophone Where is the president, where?
Here it comes, the black tornado
Let's have a cheer for Sarajevo
If you survive what falls out of his mind
You'll make the political world

Double Handjob

2006-12-30T11:22:00.000-08:00

First double hand transplant performed on a woman, 28 years without hands!

Parrots Officially Hella Smart

2006-12-29T10:10:00.000-08:00

"You got to put this bird on the camera."

Hyper Mike

2006-12-29T09:53:00.000-08:00

"It was found on him and in his car,"

"He has been charged with DUI (driving under the influence of) drugs and possession of a controlled substance, cocaine," Sgt Larry Hall of the Buckeye Police Department told Reuters news agency.

Kings of Bling

2006-12-29T09:45:00.000-08:00

One for the Money

Goodnight, Godfather

2006-12-25T18:15:00.000-08:00

May flights of devils wing you to your rest. You will live on in our souls forever, but right now im still trippin about that Squid.

Vingt mille lieues sous les mers

2006-12-22T21:45:00.000-08:00

For the first time ever scientists were able to capture a giant squid alive, as well as film the whole ordeal. This is especially good because the squid died almost immediately after it was captured.

"It took two people to pull it in,” Dr Kubodera said, “and they lost it once, which might have caused the injuries that killed it . . . “It struggled furiously to escape by spouting water from its funnel. This means they can actually swim pretty fast, in addition to their normal movement just drifting in deep waters,”

When snack time goes bad.

Some say it died of massive stress, i might tend to agree judging from the look on its face. However, once i realized that squids eyes always look like that, ive decided that it most likely died of a broken heart. However, I especially don't give a fuck really because giant squids are literally so 4 years ago. My main over sized cuttlefish preoccupations have been directed towards the much more impressive sounding colossal squid species as of late. That having been said, i am always interested in mans struggle to subdue gargantuan beasts, as well as elusiveness and all things which fall under its black curtain. However, this is almost as bad as the time i found out Santa wasn't real, or even worse, the time i found out Arnold Schwarzenegger WAS real.

One Day

2006-12-22T15:37:00.000-08:00

Save This Recipe!

Hibernating Man

2006-12-22T15:28:00.000-08:00

A mountain climber who really knows how sleep.

Aubrey De Grey

2006-12-21T17:03:00.000-08:00

Fuck Dyin', I hijack a mack.

Indonesian Tasty Burger

2006-12-21T16:44:00.000-08:00

*$110.00

Thats Kobe Baby

I'm Dewing This

2006-12-20T13:58:00.001-08:00

Clever Girl

2006-12-20T09:06:00.000-08:00

Moths drink tears of sleeping birds?!

"The moth uses its barbed proboscis (close-up below) to penetrate the eyelid of sleeping birds and drink tears (Image: Roland Hilgartner / Mamisolo Raoilison)"

Ancient Map of Emeryville

2006-12-19T19:28:00.000-08:00

Archaelogists say it may date back as early as 1983.

-Notice John Tucker in the swimsuit by the dolphins.